I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
