Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
