Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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