I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
