I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
