I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
