i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
