Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
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today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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