I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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