i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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