my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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