shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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