all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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