there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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