real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
