He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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