Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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