I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
