In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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