Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
