loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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