good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
