I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
