you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
