we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
