The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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