I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
bring money and cleavage
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
