We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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