You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
