it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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