sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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