I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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