Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
