Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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