I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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