College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
