I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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