K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
