Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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