As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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