i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize