i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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