new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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