Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
