she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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