Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
