One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
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Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do