it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?