i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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