How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
