You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
