I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
