Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
