I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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