Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also, beer. Big fan.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
