I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
