Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
